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If this cold snowy weather doesn`t clear up soon, I may never get in the mood to take down the Christmas tree-
I don`t like Instagram. It reminds me that somewhere people are doing stuff. I just don`t need that kind of pressure.
I`ve just released my own fragrance...No one on the bus seems to like it though.
Guys, if my hair doesn`t look like a birds nest afterward, you`re doing it wrong.
if your an astronaut, and you don`t end a relationship with "look, I just need space.." then your wasting everyones time
I’m “had to actually call a girl on the home phone to ask her out while hoping my mom didn’t pick up and start dialing” years old.
Its sad that we live in a world that puts words into the dictionary if enough stupid people use it.
By thigh gap you mean the distance between the KFC and my mouth right.
Today is National animals day, please take a moment to remember your ex :p:p:p.
“Yes” is a perfectly legitimate response when asked how many drinks you’ve consumed.
Getting old sucks. I use to wake up feeling like a million bucks. Now I feel more like a bounced check.
Sorry I mispronounced your baby`s name you made up.
If all the world´s a stage, I want to operate the trap door.
Some questions just answer themselves. Like, sit-ups or pizza?
Marrying your high school sweetheart is like taking the banker`s first offer on Deal or No Deal.