Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Spiders are the only web developers that are happy to find bugs.
Where do suicide bombers go when they die? Everywhere.
Well I was gonna donate blood today until the lady got all personal and started asking "who´s blood is this?" and "How did you get it?"
The cool thing about The Clapper is it doubles as a strobe light during s@x.
I hate it when people are holding a device capable of using google and they ask me stupid questions.
I walked into SeaWorld with a fishing pole once. I gotta tell ya, those security guards can really run.
There’s so many people I’d love to get the silent treatment from
Being with you is like listening to golf on the radio.
Sometimes I`ll go out in public and socialize with people, those times are called alibis.
Keep honking. I´m reloading.
Your trophy wife is more of a participation trophy wife, isn`t she?
I`ve honestly never been more disappointed in life than when I found out that the Miami Dolphin football team was made up entirely of people
Wondering if my heart is healthy enough for sex ... volunteers needed.
I’d steal a doughnut truck and attempt to outrun the cops, just to let people see a bunch of cops chasing a doughnut truck!
Today I´m going to entertain the kids with a game of duct, duct, tape.