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The best nicknames are the ones people don`t know they have.
I’m beginning to believe that successful relationships come down to Netflix compatibility.
i joined new gym yesterday. i did 3 sets of selfies on each machine
They sell Harvard shirts at Target so that’s a good way to save $ 399,984.05.
My credit rating is so bad I got turned down for a magazine subscription.
likes to end all my phone calls with "Ok, I`ll see you later on at the party!" and then quickly hang up. Let them figure it out.
I`m getting sick of these porn sites listing my videos as "amateur".
If I had to describe myself in one word, it would be "bad at following directions."
Since my ear surgery I haven`t heard from my doctor. Not sure if that`s a good thing or not.
Sometimes it takes me a full 8 hours to get nothing done.
Shouldn’t the Air and Space museum be empty?
Sometimes my brain is like the bermuda triangle...Information goes in then it`s never found again..
Line forms here for spankings
Women with big breasts... ...can get a taxi on the worst days ...have a neat place to carry spare change ...have always been the center of the arts (art) ...make jogging a spectator sport ...can keep a magazine dry while laying in the tub ...have more negotiating power (with men shorter than them) ...usually can find leftover popcorn after a movie ...can always carry a little extra ...always float better ...know where to look first for lost earrings ...rarely lack for a slow dance partner ...hav
That moment when being uncool, is cool