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feels like getting some work done ... so I am sitting down until the feeling passes.
Puttin the `eff it` in efficient today.
You know what’s worse than slow internet? NOTHING.
My kids are the reason I wake up every morning. Really freaking early. Every...Single...Morning...
Going to tattoo shop to get both legs fully covered. Before he touches me with that needle, I run off yelling `thanks for the free shave loser!`
I spend 60%of my day worrying that I might have mustard on my face or clothing. The other 40% I am eating mustard.
Be careful when you follow the masses. Sometimes the “M” is silent.
The best sign of a healthy relationship is no sign of it on Facebook.
As i walk thru the valley of the shadow of death i was like what da f**k am i doin here
I`m so pissed right now! I`m about to open a can of... Wait…WTF??!! Since when did they start putting child-proof lids on the cans of whoop-ass? A little help please...
They used to be called "jumpolines" until you jumped on one...
Hey,,,, I said I`d be there in 10 minutes... Quit calling me every half hour.
Mister Rogers didn’t adequately prepare me for the people in my neighborhood.
Never ask a woman who is eating ice cream straight from the carton how she’s doing.
I do what I want, when I want, where I want.. if my mom says its ok. :)