Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
It`s called "Biscotti" because nobody would buy "chocolate covered croutons".
If someone says you used too much butter or cheese on something, stop talking to them. You don`t need that kind of negativity
I was feeling down...then all of a sudden I felt myself up. Win, win situation! ;)
You will never be happier than a girl who just discovered her dress has pockets.
Started a new exercise routine yesterday. So far I`ve only missed one day.
Somehow the talk went a little wrong with my 7 year old and now he`s convinced that birds have sex with bees and now he won`t eat honey.
How much do those guys who yell in the back of rap songs make? I could totally do that.
I left my phone at home all day today. Is the sky always blue like that?
Been there, done that. Then, been there several more times, because apparently I never learn.
If looks could kill, mirrors would be the leading cause of death among ugly people
If you lack motivation, get on treadmill naked in front of mirror.
Happy birthday to my Pet Rock who is 453,786,321 years old today!
Now reached the age where getting lucky is what happens when I can remember where I set my glasses down at
I think I`m funny - but looks aren`t everything
Better to be incredibly weird than incredibly boring.