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My retirement plan is just $1,000 & a plane ticket to wherever these kids are living on 15 cents a day.
I do not fail, I succeed at things that do not work.
The only thing worse than "the one that got away" is the one that won`t go away.
There’s no “I” in team and coincidentally none in "Go f*ck yourself" either.
Save water. Shower with me. ;)
What doesn`t kill you makes you have lots of hospital bills.
I got my stomach by doing as many crunches as I can everyday. Usually either Nestle or Captain
Can I have your number or do you just want the 8 dollars for the drink?
Head and Shoulders should make a body wash called Everything Else
Exercise by running up the street knocking on all the doors. - Jehovah`s Fitness.
Have you ever noticed that the & symbol looks like a guy dragging his butt across the floor?
I saw a comedian one time who did nothing but make geography puns. talk abbottabad act.
The problem with money is that too much of it belongs to people who aren’t me.
Why would a married man buy a hearing aid?
Just gave the Earth a one-star rating and a bad review on TripAdvisor to discourage any aliens that were planning an invasion.