Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
I just did my budget for August. If I don`t buy food ... I won`t need toilet paper. I think I`m on to something here.
I bet Waldo’s parents are worried sick.
¦It’s time to clean the refrigerator when something closes the door from the inside.
If you ever question yourself, your life choices, your sanity...just watch an episode of Hoarders and you`ll be all good.
#Redskins QB Robert Griffin III back after surgery to reconstruct the ACL and repair the LCL in his right knee. He`s now RG 3.2
for some reason my plans to workout never work out
You should always love a woman for her personality. We have so many to choose from.
Slow dancing with a fat girl? More like moving a fridge by yourself.
I go on dates just to remind myself that being single is awesome.
My New Years resolution is always don’t die. So far so good.
There are a lot of side effects to smoking weed. Like never shutting up about the fact that you smoke weed.
I would like to learn one of those clicking languages from Africa because I get the feeling my knees are trying to tell me something.
Tried to borrow some bread from my Indian neighbour, but he said he had naan....
My sex life is like a Ferrari ... I don`t have a Ferrari
Gardening is awesome because it is one of the only ways a normal person can be persuaded into buying actual bags of poop.