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Every loaf of bread is a tragic story of grains that could`ve become beer, but didn`t
Alcoholic? No. Self-appointed booze quality control technician? Yes.
Sometimes I think my job is actually a hidden-camera game show where they see how much absurd bullsh!t I`ll put up with before I catch on.
Adulthood is when 4:30am is early in the morning instead of late at night.
I`m happy that my grandma thinks that a iPad is for wet and leaking eyes
Hi, we`re a group of teens who solve mysteries! We wanna be taken seriously so we wrote a theme song about how we can`t ever find our dog.
If you answer the phone and say "Hello, you`re on the air." most telemarketers will hang up quickly.
Coffee: So I can do nothing with more energy.
A trail of clothes leading to my bedroom means I dropped them on the way from the dryer.
Why did the mushroom go to the party because he was the fungi
This weekend, a woman in colorado gave birth inside a Wal Mart. Apparently, its the first thing found in a Wal Mart not made in China.
Just dropped off some film to be processed. More on this story as it develops.
Having to cash in my State Quarter Collection`s map for gas money is reaching a new low.
Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me. Fool me 300,000 times, well then you`re probably a weatherman.
Do you ever just look at someone and think "Wow, let me take off your pants."