Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
I like to imagine that braille on random public signs often says: “How did you know this was here?”
Is it polite or rude to slide a note into the bathroom stall next to you that says, "heard you farting but it`s ok you`re in the right place :)"
I tried yoga once, but we called it Twister
Kids are like debit cards. I get yelled at when I accidentally leave them at the store.
whenever I take my clothes off the shower usually gets turned on
It must be really hard to judge wet t-shirt contests. I saw one recently, and all the t-shirts looked equally wet.
You know your a$s is ugly when you`re the one always asked to take the photo.
All my life I`ve wanted to learn to juggle. I just never had the balls to do it.
If you`re wondering about who the oldest James Bond was, don`t google `old man bond age`
If you feel like you’re about to punch someone, take a deep breath. Then exhale as you punch to get more power.
I just read an article about the dangers of drinking that scared the crap out of me. That`s it. No more reading!
I`m going to invent a cleaning product that kills .1% of all germs and bacteria. It doesn`t sound very effective, but I`m going to get it placed right next to all the other cleaning products that kill 99.9% of all germs and bacteria.
Well if you didn`t want me to fall in love with you, why did you tell me you had nachos?
Elevators are so stupid. They have a button for the floor I`m already on.
I think that some of the people I see in Wal Mart shouldn`t be allowed to leave Wal Mart.