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As long as everything is exactly the way I want it. I am totally fleible.
Always look for the girl with the ponytail holder on her wrist.
My anaconda will take whatever it can get at this point.
Lake Superior really needs to lose the attitude.
I hate it when I put on my apple bottom jeans and cannot find my boots with da fur!!
thinks that decaffeinated coffee is just useless brown water.
If history has taught us anything, it’s that reheated french fries are gross.
They say `No news is good news,` but I think it just means I have a lazy paperboy.
My Grandma would be pissed if she found out how many times she`s died so I could get out of having to go somewhere
I hate bugs that fly, jump, crawl, dougie, twerk, 2 step, all that crap.
At the start of every relationship many girls treat their boys as a GOD but later the alphabets are reversed
Press 1 for someone who probably learned English last month, but is going to try and communicate effectively with you anyway.
I once had a goldfish that could break-dance on carpet, but only for like 20 seconds...
First you told me to be myself now you`re telling to me not be an idiot. Make up your mind woman!
Does anybody know how to disable the autocorrect feature on my wife ?