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At first, I had my doubts about using autocorrect. But my new phone probed me wrong. PROVED DAMNIT! PROVED!
I was pretty sure that at this point in my career I would have henchmen by now!
Having sex in an elevator is wrong on so many levels. LOL. But on the up side, it is fun!! ;)
I just apologized to my wife for something she did wrong. Marriage is fun.
Ya know once the toothpaste is out of the tube, it´s hard to get it back in.
Personality is 40% genetics, 40% upbringing, and 20% the last movie you watched.
My wife sat down next to me as I was flipping channels. She asked, "What`s on TV?" I said, "Dust." And then the fight started...
you have lips ….. i have lips …… interesting
Some people never go crazy...... What truly horrible lives they must live
I don’t like country music, but I don’t mean to denigrate those who do... And for those who like country music, denigrate means ‘to speak badly of`.
Friends would describe me as classy, sassy and a bit smart-assy.
Welcome to Plastic Surgery Addicts Anonymous. I see a lot of new faces in the room this week and I`m very disappointed with all of you.
"Nothing there? Better bark at it." - my dog
Exercise can add years to your life. For example, I just ran 2 miles and I now feel like I`m 82.
80% of my life is pulling percentages out of thin air and stating them as facts...