Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Jimmy is short for James? This is where I think English is stupid. They have the same number of letters. Do they even know what short means?
I love that sound you make when you shut the hell up.
Some days your the bug; some days your the windshield.
People who are offended by offensive things offend me.
doesn`t mind that people start spreading rumors about me.. it’s when they spread the truth that I’m screwed ;)
Saying “sounds good” is probably the nicest way to abruptly end a conversation.
Diamonds are the hardest substance in the world ... to get back from a woman
When life gives you lemons... all you need is tequila (and salt).
I declare today, “Hit that dumb person you’ve always wanted to punch in the face day.”
If people could hear the next five seconds after we hit end call, we would all have no friends.
On the plus side of 2017, the use of the words `awesomesauce` and `amazeballs` were at an all time low.
If one synchronized swimmer drowns, do the rest have to drown too?
I’m pretty sure the whole “ladies first” thing was created by a guy just to check out girls butt’s.
gua suka sama kamu
Do you like the strong, silent type? Then you`ll love my farts.