Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Don`t rush me. I`m waiting for the last minute.
"This place needs to be sticky, wall to wall." - Every 2 year old with a Popsicle.
Hi, im _____ but you could call me sexy.
It`s not an attitude problem, it`s the way I am.
I can’t afford Disney World so we go to the biggest hill on my street and my kids wait an hour before I roll them down in my office chair.
Every night before bed I do this cute little thing where I stare at the Internet for 6.5 hours
I`ve found that nowadays most people don`t like holding hands in public. Especially if you don`t know them.
I could defuse a bomb if it sounded like an alarm clock and I was sleeping.
My To-Do list for today is just a bunch of things I wanna eat.
Note to self: you never read these notes so stop writing them.
I finished your laundry, the ashes are in the fireplace.
The Wizard of Oz is the ultimate chick flick. It`s about two women trying to kill each other over shoes.
Sometimes I wish there was a `Build-a-Girlfriend`.
If one synchronized swimmer drowns, do the rest have to drown too?
Is it too early to start drinking? - some moron with a clock.