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The only thing I love more than cake is cakes.
Just seen the new Batman shampoo in Costco. I can`t believe they haven`t paired it up with a conditioner Gordon.
2 words, 1 finger.
You can tell yourself that Sesame Street is educational but Cookie Monster has lived there for like 40 years and still can`t conjugate verbs.
can say whatever the hell I want as my Facebook Status, and nobody will be offended as long as I smile at the end. Example: I hate everybody today :) - LOL
My ex-wife once left a note on the fridge: "It`s not working. I can`t take it anymore. Gone to stay with Friends." I opened the fridge, the light came on, and the beer was cold. Not sure what she was talking about!
is easily distracted by shiny objects.
Life is not fair. But life is not fair for everyone, which actually makes it fair.
I`ve seen more pins in the last few days then stone cold steve austin on groundhog day..
God knew that there would be times that a single middle finger wouldn`t be enough.
"No! Don`t leave me! I need you! Nooooo!" I say as my laptop cords slowly slides off my bed onto the floor.
When you’re a kid, you hate those moments when there is absolutely nothing to do. As an adult, you live for them.
why we do not have a romance class...............
Hey you! Yea you ... Don`t just pass by my status and not say hi.
Why do they call it "Jew-ish"? Are they not Jew enough?