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I just ended a long-term relationship today ... I’m ok though, it wasn’t mine.
Are you bored? Head over to Walmart, go into a fitting room, shut the door, wait awhile, and then yell very loudly, `Hey! There`s no toilet paper in here.`
Can we just stop with the pre-sliced cheese? Is anyone so busy that they don’t have time to cut the cheese?
These old people at the bus stop really suck at paintball.
the real full form of M.B.A....Married But Available
Defeat....the feeling you get when you realize the "next" level is just as hard......
I have the rest of my life to be an adult.
I’ve got a friend whose nickname is “Shagger”. You might think that’s pretty cool. She doesn’t like it
Why do they have “limited edition” scented candles? Are there crazy people collecting these things?
This one time, I got trapped inside a couch cushion fort for like 47 days cause I forgot to put a secret door on it.
If anyone tells you, you have ADHD. Pay no attention.
Whenever I see a celebrity photobomb, I`m like, that`s so relatable. I too constantly ruin moments and think I`m more fun than I actually am
Don`t fall in love, learn how to ruin your life all by yourself.
You know you’re a mom, when someone says they have a stomach ache and you ask if they pooped today.
Hysterical Shrieking should be reserved for truly serious situations such as Centipedes, Spiders, and that Creepy Uncle that likes to give everyone back rubs.....