Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
When I see you in hell I`ll still ignore you
When I was your age, we had to walk 10 miles in the snow to get drunk and have s€x.
If I had a time machine I`d set it to "back in the day", just to see what everyone is talking about.
Middle age is when your age starts to show around your middle
Waking up is the second hardest thing in the morning.
You know it`s way past your bed time when the 1-800-dial-a-hoe commercials come on.
NEWS FLASH: Man arrested for having sex with a tree.....Police confirm he had wood!!!
Velcro is a ripoff
I`d take Cap`n Crunch more seriously if his eyebrows weren`t on his hat.
Don`t mix Viagra with Iron Supplements. It will cause you to spin around and point north.
I don’t just sing in the shower... I perform.
Everything is funny as long as it is happening to somebody else...
“I need to stop,” I whispered as I clicked next episode.
You`re right, you didn`t ask that guy for a d!ck pic, but nobody asked for hundreds of pictures of your face either.
You`re annoying, but honestly, I`ve been annoyed by better.