Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
I don`t ever know where I`m at till I`m there
I FINALLY "friended" my girlfriend on Facebook.. You know.. So I could get updates on our relationship status.. :|
If a woman shaves her legs for you, at least every other day, in the Winter time, it`s Love.
Thank you, True Crime, for saying that was a reenactment. I was pretty upset your camera person didn`t stop that murder.
This day needs more tomfoolery!
Birth Control Pills should be for men. It makes much more sense to unload a gun than to shoot at a bulletproof vest.
Today I made sushi at home for the first time. I subsituted a hotdog for the raw tuna, a bun for the rice, and mustard for the wasabi!
No matter how bad your day seems, just remember that someone out there has to clean the bathroom at Taco Bell.
2015 and still no thieves interested in my identity.
Never make eye contact while eating a banana
Every time I stop making bad decisions, I get more and more boring.
Some people just bring out the psycho in me
Twinkle twinkle little star, I want to hit you with my car.
Why are police men so strong? Because they hold up traffic.
My walk of shame is putting back the 9 boxes of assorted cereals that my wife found in the grocery cart.