Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Women, if you want to strike a bit of fear into your man, just smile really big and ask him, "Notice anything different?"
Olympic Mens Ice Hockey USA vs Canada. Loser keeps Justin Bieber.
For all the taxes they take out of my paycheck they should at least send me a picture of the broke ass family I support to hang on my fridge.
Famous people could rob banks wearing masks of themselves and they`d never get caught.
45 minutes on the treadmill is no big deal if you don`t turn it on
I don`t understand why people have to "get ready" for bed....I`m always ready for bed.
I only call them yoga pants because Netflix and eat leftovers pants was too long.
If you`re wondering why you`re single, date someone. You`ll remember
When I woke up this morning everything in my house had been stolen and replaced with exact replicas... WEIRD..
I laugh in the face of normal.
When Miley is naked & licks a hammer it’s “art” & “music” ... but when I do it, I`m “wasted” & “have to leave Home Depot"
I’m pretty sure the whole “ladies first” thing was created by a guy that just wanted to check out a girl’s butt.
I google myself sometimes just to know what the hell I`m up to. ;)
Alcohol may not be able to give you a loving hug when you need it but the Liquor Mart employee`s you`re buying it off of sure can.
Tell a therapist, Not Facebook.