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" a fool and his money ----- are never around when you need a loan......"
I`m old enough to remember when cell phones actually got smaller every year.
All I`m saying is if guys were meant to make them, they`d be call sandWIZARDS.
Grocery stores could save me a lot of time and effort by adding an “All the stuff you can microwave” aisle.
You never know a person until you walk in their shoes... or until you check their browser history.
My mother was feeling cold so now I`m wearing a sweater.
Sure, Men love funny women. As long as they are pretty...and skinny...and they have a great pair of knockers!!
The boss keeps talking about a company 401k ... I don`t think I can run that far
It`s impossible to look like a bad ass while eating a snow cone.
I love my six pack so much, I protect it with a layer of fat.
What do you get when you cross a pitbull with a computer? I don`t really know but when it megabytes, it megahertz
Some of us live thousands of miles away from the majority of our relatives and can`t be with them for the holidays. But don`t be jealous.
When someone says "Surprise me", I quickly drop my pants.
I bet when spiders see those fake green cob webs on Halloween they must be like "Ugh, tourists".
Why don`t they just get Jehovah`s Witnesses to deliver the mail?