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You guys know that there are things higher than kites, right?
I bet Batman`s cape gets stuck in the car door more times than he admits.
We can only blame ourselves for all the crime and violence today, we removed all the phone booths and now Superman has nowhere to change...
"Let`s eat, get drunk and watch people exercise" - sports fans
Women aren’t that complicated. They just want an honest and genuine guy who will give them insincere compliments they might not deserve.
Sometimes I feel like I get less attention than a white crayon.
Why is it that the instant I buy new chap stick, the old one magically reappears?
Don´t wait for the perfect moment. Take the moment and make it perfect.
If you`ve ever wondered why an animal is stupid enough to run into oncoming traffic on the highway, then you`ve obviously never been married.
I`m not mental, other wise the rubber duckies would have told me by now...
I took a sexual harassment course today, I think this is actually something I might be pretty good at
WARNING: Every single thing I post from here on in, is alcohol induced.
I hate fake people...especially the ones at the mall advertising clothes in front of the stores
These statuses are a lot better if you imagine them being read by Morgan Freeman.
I can’t decide if the drinks are too weak or if my tolerance is too strong.