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Anyone who says "Let`s all put our phones down and talk with each other," is just running out of battery and needs a charge.
Immature >>> A word boring people use to describe fun people..
I bet the guy who invented fake dog poo was upset the name "shampoo" was taken
Just hung a picture. I nailed it.
If there were "Box Tops for Education" on cases of beer, my kid`s school would be rich.
My son asked what he should say if a bully said to give him his lunch money. I said tell him you left it on his moms nightstand.
Ferris Bueller did more in one day than I’ve done in my entire life.
Facebook made billions by saying “Hey, remember that kid you haven’t seen since the third grade? He’s a parent who hates Obama now.”
They told me to never give up. Now they call me a stalker.
If you`re ever lost in the woods and have a compass, the compass can help you be lost more north.
Don`t judge me. I was born to be awesome, not perfect.
I´m not cheap, but I am on special this weekend. ;)
I`m so old, I remember when the internet didn`t have commercials.
It takes patience to listen. It takes skill to pretend you’re listening.
I just bought a house, car and a boat with no payments until 2013. Those f`ing Mayans better be right…