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Instead of cleaning the house I just watch an episode of Hoarders and I think WOW, my house really looks great.
When I was a kid, I wanted to be an adult. So yeah...kids are stupid.
How can Wal-mart have a bazillion carts and everyone with at least one wobbly wheel?
You can tell by a woman`s feet how she feels about you. If they are behind her ears, she likes you.
If money cant buy happiness,explain beer!
Can you find the the mistake? 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10. Click Funny if you did..
Not one back to school special on beer. What kind of world do we live in.
Nothing f*cks up your Friday like realizing that it`s only Tuesday
My love for you is beyond words so don’t expect a Valentine’s Day card from me.
Finding a date on the internet is so much easier than real life because how are they supposed to know that`s not your Ferrari?
Our neighbor said he wouldn`t mind me stealing their newspaper if I would at least put a robe on first.
A wasp just landed on my balls. Hardest decision of my life.
My therapist says I`m a clueless, un-observant trainwreck. Which is weird because up until this moment, I never even knew he was a therapist.
I`d tell you to go to hell, but I work there and I don`t wanna see you everyday.
There’s no such thing as being ready for vacation to be over.