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Ever check your Facebook early in the morning where you have to close one eye because the screen is too bright?
Don`t do anything you`re not prepared to explain to a paramedic...
Thanks to whoever made electrical outlets look like tiny screaming faces trapped inside my walls I can`t make eye contact.
Redneck Word : debate...i was gonna go fishin today but forgot to bring debate
If anyone could read my mind I`m pretty sure they`d be traumatized for life.
To say I wasted today would be a huge insult to the producers of the 3 movies I watched.
I try not to be rude, but some people make it hard work.
Do you ever think about sh!t you did in the past and just go why the f*ck did nobody punch me in the face?
Somehow, going into The Dollar Store and asking for a price check just never gets old.
Is it "poon tang", or "poontang"? I`m trying to update my Christian Mingle profile.
Love is... saving money to buy her shoes!
I don`t need an excuse to drink, but thank you for giving me one.
People that are organized are just too lazy to look for things.
Pay phones should be replaced with chargers for cell phones.
dreams of a better world... where chickens can cross the road without having their motives questioned