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I don`t know which is worse... waiting for someone to get out of the bathroom so you can use it or hearing them say "come in" when you knock on the bathroom door...
Had a big mix up at the store today... Apparently, when the woman said strip down facing me,she was referring to my credit card.
Quite honestly, Officer, I wouldn`t have even pulled over had I known all you were going to do was criticize my driving.
when girls say bye .......... may be it means buy something for her.....
"I don`t know why people dislike jury duty. I think being able to play god with others` lives sounds fun!" - How I got out of jury duty
My whole life consists of wondering whether or not to make the sarcastic comment.
Just give me coffee and no one gets hurt.
I heard Disney bought and are relocating the White House to Disneyland. They Say, it will be the new Center Piece of FANTASY LAND.
Women are like squirrels, very cute from a distance but will fight like hell when you try to pick them up and get them in your car.
I wonder how many people`s phones out there have my name saved in contacts as "DO NOT ANSWER"
Guys write songs about girls they love. Girls write songs about guys they have broken up with
I`m so broke right now that if someone tried to rob me, they`d just be practising..
Be careful on how tough you are on your kids....Strict parents create sneaky children.
I`m sexy and I know it really is....... your slutty and you blow it.
Apple and Blackberry should team up and make a phone called the Pie.