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Maybe teenagers just aren`t strong enough yet to remove the sticker from their hat
To the people that post 15 pics of your kid everyday,your kid looks EXACTLY the same as they did ystrdy,and the day before,and the day before that
I party like a Rockstar. A very poor Rockstar who isn`t in a band anymore.
It`s a beautiful day, think I`ll skip my meds and stir things up a bit.
I`m afraid to hug fat girls....what if they`re hungry?
My neighbor was singing in the shower again this morning. I didn’t mind though as I can`t hear anything through the telescope.
I`m just wondering what the employees at the Weather Channel make small talk about.
Vampire selfies are just phones floating in front of bathroom mirrors.
When I say “wow, that’s crazy”, 99 percent of the time, it means I haven’t been listening to a word of your conversation.
Immature: A word boring people use to describe fun people.
I always learn from mistakes of others, who took my advice.
Doing something weird and thinking “this is why I’m single”.
Happy birthday you motor boatin SOB! Have a great day
You call them ‘naps’ but I prefer to call them ‘alcohol-induced aftershocks`
Disneyland. The world’s biggest people trap, built by a mouse.