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"You`ve got a friend in me." - Cannibals, probably
Woke up with morning wood but she wouldn`t!
It`s not a walk of shame if you leave on a pogo stick.
If there`s one thing in this world that everyone can agree on it`s... "Goonies never say die!"
It`s just a matter of time before they add the word "Syndrome" after my last name...
The only person whom a woman listens carefully & follows sincerely & does exactly as he says is a photographer
The nice thing about being a guy is your underwear only costs $10 for a 3-pack.
Vampire selfies are just phones floating in front of bathroom mirrors.
I know right from wrong. Wrong is the fun one.
All a girl wants is a guy that can make her laugh ... and not just when he drops his pants.
I`m the perfect man if you don`t factor in looks, depth of character, emotional availability, intelligence or financial well being.
The trouble with being punctual is that nobody`s there to appreciate it.
Ive been invited to farmville! Now what to wear...
Look!!! I am always here for you no matter what,OK? unless there is something good on tv or I`m eating pie
You bring a baby monitor to the bar one time and everyone freaks out.