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Doctor told me I need glasses. So I`m having several tonite.
If this cold snowy weather doesn`t clear up soon, I may never get in the mood to take down the Christmas tree-
Tuna are probably pretty annoyed with how much we worry about catching dolphins in our tuna nets.
My favorite part of the movie The Notebook is where I turned it off and watched Terminator 2 instead.
Running is the best way to remind yourself how much you love sitting.
Lying about my age is easier now that I have trouble remembering what it is.
Feeling bored? Post a status on Facebook that says "Barack Obama 2016" and buckle up for the ride of your life.
Sometimes after many years of marriage, you just look at your wife and wonder how she stayed with you this long without you killing her.
Just because I don’t like you doesn’t mean I don’t want you to like me.- Most Girls
Thanks to Netflix I can tell my doctor I`ve done a lot of "marathons"
When it gets nice out I`m going to have a roof party and after that`s done have a painting party inside, come all
A stress ball, made of concrete, and to throw at the person who`s stressing you out.
In the trailer for the fourth Transformers movie a guy says "what the hell is that" when a Transformer approaches. THE FOURTH MOVIE!
Since everything is closed for Thanksgiving I’m going to drive around and park in all the good spots I never get.
Actions speak louder than words, unless those words are spoken by a drunken woman.