Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
According to a recent study 52% of women have used vibrators....I`m guessing the other 48% have new ones?
When the zombie apocalypse hits, I know EXACTLY who I`m tripping first...
Kiss her in the middle of her sentence so you don`t have to hear what she`s talking about.
only fights if pillows are present.
Let`s start by taking some notes today. I`m fabulous bitches! Write that down.
Why does `beans` only mean secret when it`s "Don`t spill the beans?" Why can`t I say I have a dirty little beans to tell you?
Abbreviation is an unnecessarily long word.
I like when google answers my stupid questions because it means Iām not the only one asking google stupid questions.
I honestly have a fear that one day I`ll leave my house and not be wearing any pants!
DAMN IT!!!!! I just ripped the tag off one of my Beanie Babies! Now it`s worthless!!
After all these years I finally figured out that that last little piece of soap is more trouble than it`s worth.
I will pay good money to anyone who can take me from work, make it look like an abduction and tuck me back into bed.
She calls it cuddling. I call it strategic body placement for the war of the covers that is about to take place.
If I make you breakfast in bed. A simple `Thank you.` is all I need! Not all this `How did you get in my house?` business!
Drinking Tip: Never buy the first round cause that`s when people care what they`re drinking!