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My doctor told me to stop drinking...Then he told me to stop laughing.
I`m still mad that video killed the radio star.
The sexiest fantasy in 50 Shades Of Grey is the bit where she gets a job in journalism without having to do years of unpaid work experience.
I would explain it to you again, but I am fresh out of puppets and crayons.
Sorry but if these walls could talk I`m pretty sure they`d talk about wall things and not whatever scandal you`re blowing out of proportion.
Sneaking alcohol into work is pretty easy if you put it in your stomach first.
does anyone know if smurfs are gluten free
I don`t think I get enough credit for the fact that I do all of this unmedicated.
If relationship breakups never existed, the music industry would go Bankrupt !
People with kids, your posts are all the birth control I need.
Your secrets are safe with me because I zone out everytime you speak.
Dear Tequila, you were supposed to make me funnier, smarter and a better dancer. I saw the video, we need to talk.
I give movies with 2 stars a 5 on Netflix because if I sat through this piece of sh!t, I want you to as well.
Nobody wished me a happy birthday today, which isn´t surprising really, since it isn´t my birthday.
I think I have 10 inches of Global Warming on my driveway.