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It’s annoying when Netflix keeps stopping to buffer. Stupid neighbors just won’t upgrade their WiFi.
Do you really know me or am I just an idea that you`ve built in your head?
Not sure if this Adderall is working but I just made a pros and cons list about pros and cons lists.
I don`t try to annoy people; its just a gift.
If I had a time machine, I would just keep going back to bed.
Apparently when a trainer asks you why you want to get in shape and you answer "revenge" it will raise a couple eyebrows.
Somebody is out there, somewhere, thinking of the impact you`ve made in their life. It`s not me. I think your an idiot.
I feel like I am losing my mind !!! But as long as I can keep the bit that tells me when to pee, I should be OK !!
Life is hard, it`s even harder when your stupid.
If my fridge had glass doors I would still stand there and hold the door open.
The only thing my girlfriend blows is everything out of proportion.
Men who claim women belong in the kitchen definitely do not know what to do with them in the bedroom!
Missing my childhood super-powers, when I could sleep on the couch and wake up in bed.
To my neighbor using a chainsaw at 7:30 on a Sunday morning: Try holding the other end.
I pulled my wife`s panties to the side.......then put the rest of her socks in the drawer.