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So they say that having to much sex can cause memory loss, which is just a little something I seem to remember reading in a Rolling Stone magazine once on page 64 paragraphs 3 through 5 while sitting on a park bench October 14th 2002 at 3:46 p.m
The path to inner peace begins with 3 simple words....Not my problem.
When are we gonna admit that those tools we keep by the fireplace are just for killing people?
9 year olds have a Blackberry, an iPad, a laptop, & a Facebook… When I was 9, I felt cool with my new markers.
Worrying is like a rocking chair. It gives you something to do, but doesn’t get you anywhere.
So much to do and so few alibis.
What does envelope 1 of 3 on my credit card bill mean?
I don`t need drugs to have a good time, I need them to focus, avoid depression, endure winter, fall asleep, and controll my high blood pressure
On the bright side, my coffee will never get cold in hell.
I thought my life would include more impromptu sing-alongs.
I do yoga to relieve stress. Just kidding. I drink wine in yoga pants.
If we can put a satellite in orbit around a comet 4 billion miles away, perhaps someday we can put a working wireless printer in my office.
Just saw two homeless guys hitting each other with a piece of cardboard................PILLOW FIGHT!!!!!!
My favorite exercise is somewhere between a lunge and a crunch. It`s called lunch.
Doctor told me to lose some weight, and suggested walking.So no more drive through taco bell. Now I park 5 spaces away and walk in