Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
If you blow out the kid`s Birthday candles at enough parties, people will just stop inviting you to them.
I don´t like to think of myself as "Special"... I think I would call me a limited edition.
I either get what I want or I change my mind!
i dont drink any more and yet again i dont any less either
It took Harry Potter 7 damn long books to catch the bad guy. When it only takes Scooby-Doo 25 minutes.
I’m drinking because you’re talking.
I prefer to call it a “Ta-Da” list. Cause it’d be amazing if I actually accomplished anything on it.
It`s amazing how many pedestrians confuse right-of-way with immortality.
I was fighting with this guy over who`s lazier. I let him win.
is wondering why books on "how to make women happy" arent displayed in the fiction section
The reason dogs look confused when you open the refrigerator door is because they`re thinking "Why don`t you just eat ALL the food?"
I need to find new reward systems besides beer and chocolate.
Why do we even ask rhetorical questions?
Pizza is like sex, when it is good it`s very good, When it`s bad...it`s still pretty good.
I like to Party! ... and by Party I mean take Naps