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Here`s a thought: Let`s let the illegal Mexicans stay and send the whining crybabies to Mexico. At least the illegal Mexicans are willing to work.
Take my advice, I don’t use it anyway.
Why is it called when animals attack? It should be called when retarded people go near dangerous animals.
Who`s up for some curling in my driveway?
Don`t judge. Maybe I`m conducting a study of the effects of prolonged laziness on a human body. You don`t know.
Think of me as an idea. A really, really bad idea.
Life is what happens when you’re not looking at a screen.
Reasons to get out of bed: None.
I hate when I walk into the kitchen for food and only find ingredients.
God created the world in 7 days but took 9 months to create me. So clearly I’m a big deal...
Men also have feelings. For example, we can feel hungry.
If you want to have fun with your kids, tell them the teacher called, then ask if there is something they need to tell you.
I don`t think I can call myself an adult until I can accept the fact that "dry clean only" is not a dare.
I’m not a “stalker”. I want to make sure you’re okay at all times. You can look at me as an unpaid bodyguard.
Gluten free. Dairy free. Fat Free. I love the wine diet!