Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
My idea of heaven consists of all of the things I’d go to hell for.
My wife didn`t appreciate me pointing out that my alcoholism began around the time that we first started dating.
There aren’t enough days in the weekend.
I need to unbutton my pants just thinking about how much I’m going to eat this week.
The only correct answer to "Are you ticklish?" is "I have explosive diarrhea right now,"
I`m confused, oh wait, maybe I`m not.
New research reported that men enjoy snuggling. A second study showed that men will say anything to get a researcher into bed.
My job description does not include farting on everyone else`s office chairs but I still do it because INITIATIVE.
My dentist said I grind at night. I was like, ok stalker.
And then God said, "Seems unfair to have given man an extra limb so to balance it out I`ll give women the power over which to control it."
Did you guys know that turning up the radio fixes almost all your car problems?! Crazy.
I’ve spent way too much of my life wondering why food doesn’t rhyme with good.
If you never jumped from sofa to sofa as a kid to avoid the lava, then you missed out on childhood.
Its Friday ... my body is in for a much-needed drinking session
Don’t you hate when the person you’re Facebook-stalking never updates anything.