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You seem to love cocktails... or part of it.
Any perfume that claims it will help you seduce a man is lying if it doesn’t smell like a pizza.
How did the person who invented the first clock know what time it was?
I`m not lazy, I`m in energy saving mode.
It takes balls to be a man.
Some people come into our lives & leave footprints on our hearts. Others come into our lives & make us wanna leave footprints on their face.
I wonder if there are birds that prefer not to sing in the morning and that just roll around in their nests until noon.
If you have a mirror handy, kindly gaze into it and you will find your problem
I changed siri to a male voice and now my car keeps taking me to strip clubs and auto parts stores
I’m tired of chasing my dreams, I`m just going to ask them where their going and meet them there later.
Reckon the first person to make popcorn by accident probably ran away
Currently under the influence of cold and flu medicine...my actions can not be held against me!
I`ve just finished doing my hair, want to come over and mess it all up?
I only use the outdoors to get to another indoors.
They say money doesn`t bring you happiness.... I say....neither does being broke....