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Redneck Word : debate...i was gonna go fishin today but forgot to bring debate
Why go to a therapist when a woman will explain everything wrong about you free of charge?
That awkward moment when the mosquito is more interested in persistently banging it`s head against the windshield of your vehicle in an attempt to escape your presence than it is in trying to bite you. #feelingunattractive
It’s not really drinking alone if the dog is home ... right?
The only cat like reflex I possess is turning and staring at the wall when you talk to me.
Slowly, Waldo`s wife and Mr. Sandiego started putting the pieces together.
When people ask for my advice, I advise them not to take my advice. That really screws them up.
I`m a fantastic secret-keeper because, deep down, I really don`t care enough to actually talk about it to anyone else.
Today I saw something that reminded me of you. But don`t worry, I flushed and everything went back to normal.
I don’t understand why drunk me always seems to have more money than sober me.
I got food poisoning today. I don`t know when I`ll use it though.
Me and my recliner...we go way back.
When I bang my toe against something it`s like I pressed a button that plays all the curse words I know
It`s kind of funny how as you get older, you start enjoying things that you hated as a kid, like taking naps and getting spanked.
I got my panties all in a bunch ... You know those Wal Mart 10 pack cotton bundles.