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Sorry but if these walls could talk I`m pretty sure they`d talk about wall things and not whatever scandal you`re blowing out of proportion.
I wasn`t planning on giving Christmas gifts this year until I heard about those exploding Samsung G7 Note phones.
Your mobile phone has more computing power than all of NASA in 1969. NASA launched a man to the moon. ...We launch a bird into pigs!
I wish they made barstools with seat belts and dual side airbags.
This morning I got in touch with my inner self. And that`s also the last time I`ll buy cheap toilet paper...
A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend. A successful woman is one who can find such a man
This status could be yours for 3 easy payment of $8.99, get in quick because this offer won`t last for long, infact there are only 5 left.
A high-pressure hose will usually stop a coworker from showing you any more baby photos.
I Hope I can make it through another season of disagreement over the pronunciation of pecan.
Scared the mailman today by going to the door completely naked. Not sure what scared him more, my naked body or that I knew where he lived.
I smiled and waved at my neighbour so I bet the first thing she`ll do today is buy bedroom curtains.
I dont even bother filling out the "From" field on gift tags during xmas. One look at the wrap job, and its VERY obvious.
Im still waiting for Anheuser-Bush to name a beer "responsibly" so i can drink it!
People ask me why I don`t have tattoos. Seriously, would you put a bumper sticker on a Lambourghini?
Losing weight is not working for me, so I`m concentrating on getting taller.