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You make me want to be a better class of psycho.
I still miss my ex. But my aim is gettin` better.
No body on there deathbed said I wish I had spent more time at work
I used to drink a lot in the 80s. Then I realized, who cares what the temperature is.
I worry about the future because I know my friends that are teachers.
Those teardrop tattoos mean you cried during the notebook, right?
I fart because it`s the only gas I can afford.
Spent $50 on E-bay to enlarge my happy place. The creep sent me a magnifying glass.
Plot twist: WebMD says you`re just thirsty
If I had three wishes, I`d use one for boobs. Because I`m pretty sure I could get everything else that I wanted if I had boobs.
Iām pretty sure I could start a new life with only the crap in my car.
Tried cleaning the house to the A-Team theme and ended up building a tank. So close.
lf the people in the movies listened to me, they would still be alive.
I swear on this f*cking chicken I will never swear again. Oops.
If other employees are taking four fifteen minutes smoke break a day, I should most certainly be allowed a one hour nap time.