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Testing.. Testing.. This is a test. If this were an actual ploy for attention.. I would`ve said "bacon" or "boobies."
Stairs are like rock climbing after a bottle of vodka.
Something about today makes me want to be hungover tomorrow.
If at first you don`t succeed ... I just lie and say I did.
My Bills are so big that I have to call them William now.
Internet dating: the odds are good but the goods are odd.
Facebook is proof that people should not be allowed to name themselves.
We`re up to Fast n Furious #6. Shouldn`t they just create a weekly TV series?
The wifi going down on me is the most action I`m going to get tonight.
I just realized that when I murder someone my neighbors will describe me as "quiet"
Every new day means new opportunities... to make mistakes and f*ck things up.
Did anyone else go into a furious, violent rage when they found out that George Lucas filmed most of Star Wars here on Earth?
You don`t get smarter as you get older. There just aren`t any stupid things left that you haven`t already done.
WARNING: Every single thing I post from here on in, is alcohol induced.
I like how automatic doors just get out of my way. I wish more inanimate objects seemed scared of me.