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If its so great outside why do bugs try to get in my f*cking house?
The United States is probably the only country in the world where people need energy drinks to sit in front of a computer all day.
Imagine all the amazing places you could take naps if you were Superman.
Maybe the cost of a barrel of oil wouldn’t be so expensive if Donkey Kong didn’t waste thousands of them in the `80s throwing them at Mario.
I just saw a man salute the Budweiser truck on the highway. LMAO
I think my problem is that I have really fantastic bad ideas...
I`m "got my sexual education from a 2 Live Crew cassette tape" years old.
Relationship status: sleeping in my bed diagonally.
When I say I like to travel, I really just mean I like to get drunk in different places.
I see you posted a photograph of snow with the caption "it`s cold" could you tell me more about that
Good news: I finally got my computer connected to the wireless printer. Bad news: not sure which house I need to go to get my documents.
I`m tired of hearing about Republicans this and Democrats that. For Christ`s sake people, don`t you realize on July 15th the Twinkie comes back?!?!?!?!
I just wish the automatic paper towel dispensers were half as sensitive as the automatic flushers.
We used to be afraid people on the internet would find us in real life. Now we`re terrified people in real life will find us on the internet
When your Dr. says "I`ll need to Google that"..... it`s time to change Doctors