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Alcohol: Because no great story ever started with someone eating salad.
I just attempted to wash a paper plate if you wonder how much money I have available.
I love the way everyone who uses hand sanitizer looks like they`re hatching some kind of evil plan.
I`m now fit to make my regular annual resolution. The accomplishment is the problem
I`d watch NASCAR if Hot Wheels designed the tracks.
Show me a bunch of people with type A personalities, and I`ll show you a control group.
So another day has come and gone and I still haven`t used algebra
I`m a responsible person. People are always saying "I know you`re responsible for this."
Clearly, it is wrong to describe woman`s menopause as "the old Fallopian tubes finally rusting shut." My bad.
You`d think he`d be better at this with all the porn he watches
Don`t you just a hate it when you stumble into bed drunk only to be nagged by someone screaming "Get out" or "You live next door!"
My bank lets me send a text message and it´ll text back with my balance. It´s a cool feature but I didn´t think the LOL was necessary.
After 6 years, is it still all Bush`s fault or has it been reduced to "Unfortunate circumstances under no one`s control"?..............
If I’ve offended you with my posts, I humbly apologize. I honestly didn’t think you could read.
Chips have little nutritional value. That’s why you need to eat the whole bag.