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Didn’t Selfie Sticks used to be called Friends?
when she says "size doesn`t matter" what she really means is "I have been disappointed before." :)
Why didn`t Spider-Man`s enemies just move to a city without skyscrapers?
I wonder how many dads named their sons Luke just so they can say "Luke, I am your father."....
Just because you think it`s a bad idea doesn`t mean we won`t have a good time.
You will never be happier than a girl who just discovered her dress has pockets.
The grass was greener on the other side, so we smoked it.
Do they have to play movies so loud at the theatre? I litterally have to scream into my phone.
If you touch your phone in the right places, a pizza will arrive at your door.
If someone says they`ll always be there for you...make sure you find out exactly where "there" is.
There`s no room in my life for B.S. ... Unless it`s burritos oand salsa
I`m switching to Metric. I would weigh a lot less on the Metric scale.
If a cop pulls over a U-Haul, he`s trying to bust a move.
If I was rich, I´d do nothing all day from a much nicer recliner.
I just ran a .003048K