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I think it`s safe to say that my 2 year old is definitely more excited to see the fire truck next door than my neighbor.
I don`t ever need to go sky diving or bungee jumping. Leaving a pizza in the oven while I make a quick run to Walgreens is about all the adrenaline rush I can handle.
like this if you are against animal cruelty
The only people who care about my college degree are the college loan people.
I like them big and fake. ~Me talking about Christmas trees
Do the spectators at golf tournaments know they don`t have to be there
There must be an easier way to transport long poles across canyons other than walking across a tightrope carrying one pole at a time.
If I’ve learned anything in my twenty-two years on this earth, it’s that it’s okay to lie about your age.
Relationship Status: ( ) Single ( ) In a Relationship ( ) Married ( ) Engaged ( ) Divorced (X) Waiting for a miracle
is experiencing life at a rate of several wtf´s a minute
Look up procrastinator on Wikipedia. There’s a picture of me. Well there isn’t yet, but there will be. Probably by tomorrow. Maybe Tuesday.
Why are you walking away when we`re in the middle of discussing our wedding plans? Come back! ... At least give me your number!
I haven`t owned a watch for I don`t know how long.
I wanna lie on the floor and not think for a month or two.
My Son: The marriage vows say "tell death do us part", so we are not married in heaven ? Me: That`s right son, cause if we were still married, we`d be in hell.