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I like to sit outside on campus at night in my 1940s clothes and when people say things to me, I say "You can see me?"
If we learned anything from the Mayans, it’s that if you don’t finish something, it’s not the end of the world
I thought I wanted to get married again. Then I laughed and remembered why I shouldn`t think.
The joy of finding out that your boss is going on a holiday is way greater than you yourself going on one
I will always be here for you. Unless we run out of beer and someone has some over there. Then I will be over there for you.
It`s too bad parallel lines never meet because they have so much in common.
I didn`t get drunk enough last night, I can still remember working.
News flash, ladies. Men are settling for you, too.
My husband told me that in some cultures women do all the housework, so I told him in some cultures blow jobs don`t exist. He`s vacuuming
It`s not an attitude problem, it`s the way I am.
My mother said, "You won`t amount to anything because you procrastinate." I said, "Oh ya.....Just you wait."
We played a lot of "Keep The Balloon In The Air" as kids, a game known to most other people as being poor.
Men also have feelings. For example, we can feel hungry
Twice-baked potatoes, refried beans, etc.: Damn, people, cook it right the first time or get out of the kitchen!
Pretty impressed at petrol station today, as i was filling up, i heard woman with truck at next pump say is that Vin Diesel, I smiled, then realised she meant Van Diesel :-/