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I`m still mad that video killed the radio star.
If it`s true that opposites attract, I should be looking for someone that gets up early and does stuff
It’s not the destination, it’s the journey. Except when you’re heading to the bathroom with explosive diarrhea.
I wish I could talk to donkeys so I could be known as the ass whisperer.
Things I didn`t learn in high school... how to pay bills buy a house apply for college but thank goodness I can graph a polynomial function.
Yoga pants are just push up bras for your butt.
What do crickets hear when they have an awkward silence?
Of course I can keep a secret. It’s the people I tell it to who can’t.
Here`s a joke for all you mind readers...
With great power comes great electricity bill.
Well, all I have to say is TGIF. (Post this on any day but Friday to get comments)
My opinion of yoga pants varies depending on if I`m at the gym or if I`m at Walmart
I’m Not Arguing. I’m Simply Explaining Why I’m Right.
I`m going to start a band called "Free Beer" because when people see a sign that says "Free Beer Tomorrow at 9PM" everyone is going to be there.
"Better to be pissed off than pissed on!" Actually, I prefer a third scenario where I`m not angry or covered in piss.