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Funniest thing ever heard on TV. "Ward, you were a little hard on the Beaver last night"
there are so many scams on the internet now...... Send me $19.95 an I`ll tell you how you can avoid them
That awkward moment when you realize this year is just going to be filled with morons talking about the end of the world the whole time.
I wish I had Shazam for faces...
Keys to a good friendship. Same taste in alcohol. Different taste in women.
My bank account is more like a countdown to my homelessness
I`m just a man standing in front of a woman, who is standing in front of another man who is in front of another woman in line at Taco Bell.
Well, I`m really not sure what my spirt animal is but I`m sure it looks like road kill right about now.
The first snow of spring is always the most beautiful
Dont freeze your Common sense in the process of being COOL.
Word for today: Dipshidiot
Why is powdered milk called ‘Instant milk’? Actual milk is far more instant.
I used to think drinking was bad until i stopped thinking
Please don`t come to my garage sale if you`ve ever let me borrow something.
I`m going to spend Valentine`s day with my ex.... Box 360