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Well kids, texting wasn`t always easy. In my day, you had to work for it. You had to want it. You need an S? You had to click that 7 button FOUR TIMES.
People who live in glass houses must have to clean up a lot of dead birds.
World Cup Soccer? If I wanted to watch someone struggle to score for 90 minutes, I`d go watch some of my single friends at the bar.
Reality is an illusion that occurs due to the lack of Alcohol
I`m in hospital after eating what i thought was onions instead they were daffodil bulbs. Its ok doctors say i will be out in spring.
If you ever question yourself, your life choices, your sanity...just watch an episode of Hoarders and you`ll be all good.
Is it wrong to swallow my multi-vitamin with a beer?
The wet spot in my bed is tears
When people tell me knock knock jokes, I pretend I`m not home.
Just taught my kids about taxes by eating 38% of their ice cream.
People say laughter is the best medicine, but Iād like to think a beer is the way to go.
True Story: People will believe you when start a story saying "True story"
If the shoe fits, buy it.
For the past 3 years I have been planning to write an article on Procrastination!!!
Today, 2 year olds can unlock an iphone, open and close their favorite apps. All by themselves. When I was that age, I was eating silly putty.