Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
It`s funny how you think it`s your cat leaving all those dead birds on your doorstep.
My wife hasnt stopped looking through the window since it started raining. If it gets worse, I might have to let her back in...
Just think of me as the guy next door. With a telescope.
Not remembering where I set my drink down must be the same feeling parents have when they lose their four year old at the mall.
Just a friendly reminder, there are a minimum of three spiders in your room at all times. Goodnight...
If I died and went straight to hell, it would take me more than a week to realize that I`m not at work anymore....
Etc... A word used to make others believe that you know more than you actually do
I was on the treadmill for 20 minutes this morning. Tomorrow I might even turn it on, but let’s not rush into things.
It`s not my fault you thought I was normal.
On demand sucks. Hoarders made me fill up the dumpster and clean the house. Now I want to collect coupons and go to the pawn shop....
My wife told me I have to quit playing poker all the time but I think she`s bluffing...
If you eat something and no one sees you eat it, does it really have calories?
Wow comma I just realized if I tap the microphone on my keyboard I don`t have to type out my statuses anymore exclamation point
Better to be incredibly weird than incredibly boring.
What was that idiot thinking when he invented white underwear?