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I wonder what “don’t touch” is in Braille....
Whenever I screw up at work, I`m so glad I`m not a doctor.
I don`t have a smartphone I have a phone that shows potential but doesn`t apply itself
The invention of the shovel must have been ground-breaking.
Turns out fantasy football is nothing like I thought it would be. Anyone interested in a naughty quarterback outfit? Serious inquiries only.
Call me faithless, but I just can`t believe three guys would travel that far on camels to throw a baby shower.
Not sure what to do with all the daylight we are saving.
If the waitress in the One Bell Pub is reading this can we please have our pudding now, cheers
No matter what happens this month, at least you’re not a turkey.
Today is a great day. The mailman just delivered me an Iron Maiden cassette, which finally fulfills my Columbia House commitment.
A trail of clothes leading to my bedroom means that I dropped them on the way from the dryer ... That`s all.
love me or leave me,,HEY!!! where is everybody going?
Imagine coming home from a long vacation and finding your bathroom towels are wet from just being used. I can do that to your ex if you want.
I`m starting to wish I were a werewolf so I`d have a better reason for waking up nude in public with no memory of how I got there.
Be safety conscious. 80% of people are caused by accidents.