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I`m getting a mistletoe tramp stamp.
Whoever said technology will replace paper has obviously never tried to wipe their butt with an iPad.
"This is bullsh!t" - bull farmer giving barn tours
I am a very tolerant person until you think differently than me. Then I act like a spoiled little brat.
169 is still a sex position, but with a creepy guy watching.
I can sum up my life in three words: “just browsing, thanks.”
Guns don`t kill people. Fathers with beautiful daughters do.
Drinking always starts out as the best idea you’ve ever had.
Who picks up a seeing eye dogs poop?
Do you ever start writing a status and half way through you’re just like… nah
The internet has made me so ADD. Started off googling "how to replace a timing belt" ended up watching a video on how to milk a camel.
If I say sorry I missed you, better look really close the next time you cross the street, I don`t miss twice.
I wish bedtime was all the time.
Experience is something you don’t get until just after you need it.
I don`t know karate, but I do know crazy, and I`m not afraid to use it.