Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
At hotels, you can either take a helicopter tour of the city or drink the bottle of water on the table. They cost the same.
You poor thing. You don`t even realize you`re batsh!t crazy, do you?
I`m not a doctor but I play one on Match.com
I wish my GPA looked like the gas prices right now...
I wonder how seaworld would react if I walked in there with a fishing pole....
I tried being awesome today, but I was just so tired from being awesome yesterday.
Oh, he uses you for sex? Stop bitching…Sex is awesome. Complain when he’s using you for laundry….. or a human shield.
Someone told me I`m immature and need to grow up. Guess who`s not allowed in my treehouse now.
It would be cool if you heard a thunder bug a few seconds after you saw a lightning bug.
Sometimes, I’ll watch a movie that I watched when I was younger and suddenly realize I had no idea what the heck was going on when I first saw it.
Shout out to all the ladies at church today in the same clothes from the club last night.
Sorry, when I said I have the stamina of an NBA player in bed I meant I take 10 timeouts in the final 2 minutes.
Unless your kid`s fundraiser is selling booze, I want no part of it.
If only mosquitoes sucked fat, instead of blood.
I don`t think the guy below me understands how this works.