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It has been brought to my attention that those stick figure decals on vehicles are not "kill" scores, but actually suppose to represent members of the family. I will be removing all my decals to avoid any further confusion.
I saw a fat kid sitting on a seesaw all by himself. I stopped and waited for another kid to fall from the sky. I left disappointed.
I don’t understand how a cemetery can raise its funeral prices and blame it on the cost of living.
My wife and I were happy for twenty years. Then we met.
Facebook Stalker! If you just felt a sudden twinge of guilt then yes I`m talking about you.
Those who stir the sh*t-pot should be made to lick the spoon!
I think every Taco Bell value meal should be called a "Number 2".
I think you and I both know that you`re not facebook friends with me for the funny statuses.
I`m sorry but, I could not hear you over the sound of my internal hope that you would shut the f*ck up.
If a man repeats everything a woman says, word for word,,,,,,,, is he still wrong?
Carfax but for people
To all those that now have a DUI, domestic violence charge or one less finger... Happy 5th of July
If you can`t handle me at my worst, then that sucks because that`s all there is to me.
Microsoft Excel has got to be the worlds worst video game.
Parenting tip: if you beat one child with the other child you can tell people they were just fighting. You`re welcome.