Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
"I`d like a bowl of soup please." "Any sides?" "I hope so, or it`ll go EVERYWHERE."
Some of the nicest women you`ll meet on Facebook are men.
My salad pic. got more likes than your selfie.
To say I wasted today would be a huge insult to the producers of the 3 movies I watched.
My kids are the reason I wake up every morning. Really freaking early. Every...Single...Morning...
I got in the shower with my slippers still on this morning. Is this the start of dementia or the continuum of stupidity I wonder?
Unless otherwise stated, I have no idea what I’m talking about.
You know its going to be a b!tch of a day when you put your bra on backwards and it fits better.
No magician can do a trick that impresses me as much as that ‘take off my bra and make it appear out of my sleeve’ thing that girls do.
Don`t, under any circumstance, believe I`ll return your Tupperware.
It`s so awkward when you get texted to come over and you have to pretend like you weren`t already inside their house.
I`m giving up procrastination for Lent ... starting tomorrow.
If you`ve never baked pot brownies in an Easy Bake Oven... then you`ve never wrote an apology letter to your sister with an Etch A Sketch.
I like to refer to myself as a "Second-hand Vegetarian". Animals eat grass. I eat animals.
Either I wrote a bunch of drunken Facebook status updates last night, or my dog has finally figured out the computer.