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Life is beautiful ...... but Monday`s suck all the way around.
There really isn`t much difference between being a kid and being an adult. I was just as emotionally crippled upon learning the truth about Penthouse Letters as I was about Santa Claus.
You learn something new everyday and if you didnt know that then you just did.
North West? Im confused i thought Kim Kardashian gave birth to a child not a compass
McDonald`s sponsoring the Olympics is like Jack Daniels sponsoring the prom.
As I slid my finger slowly down her G string, I thought to myself "this is a nice guitar"
I`m all for change as long as it doesn`t directly affect my routine.
I know she`s talking about rain but I don`t like hearing my mom say she got 6 inches
I’m taking care of my procrastination issues; just you wait and see.
I know the voices ain`t really, but man, do they ever come up with some great ideas.
Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice ... it`s cuz you have really nice tits.
Life Tip: Get a birthday card with anything you are embarrassed to buy.
Last night I was walking the sexiest girl ever home until she turned around and saw me.
I have good taste, I just don`t have the money to prove it.
I’m thinking there’s some type of filter that prevents normal people from like my page