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If you figure me out I want an explanation.
What this country needs is more unemployed politicians...
Do you swear to tell the truth, the whole truth, & nothing but the truth" ... I choose dare, your honor
Coffee : Starter fluid for the morning impaired.
It`s not a mental breakdown if the police wasn`t called.
I have a coffee table in my house. It`s decaffeinated but you would never know it by looking at it.
I can already tell it`s going to be another one of those mornings where I`m not rich and famous.
I think the only way I`ll ever be motivated to go to the gym is if I`m in prison.
I think I just discovered Newton’s third law of Emotion: ..... "For every male action, there is an equal and opposite female overreaction."
I’m beginning to think that I buy bananas just to watch them die a slow death in my kitchen.
Maybe the reason the world keeps making idiots famous is because 75% of the world is made up of idiots.
Summer needs to slow the hell down.
I`m undecided about which pants to wear today...Smarty of Fancy?
A fine is a tax for doing wrong...and a Tax is a fine for doing well
Words of Wisdom: Don`t cover your mouth when you sneeze. You`ll get snot and stuff all over your hands