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All I`m saying is one of us is right and the other one is you.
You Are The Reason My Middle Finger Was Created.
*Financial Status* Just rinsed off a paper plate...
To whom it may concern: I need more money and power ... ASAP thanks!
It`s a good thing farting isn`t as contagious as yawning.
I solve my problems by blatantly ignoring them and going on the internet.
why does a round pizza comes in a square box?
Some dude was bragging about his brother being a navy seal and it`s like...I don`t care what colour he is, why is your brother a seal
I`ll decide whether it`s a compliment or sexual harassment.
No one looks more depressed than a grown man walking away from the microwave with a Lean Cuisine meal in his hands.
Some days the only thought that stops me from being Dexter...is that I am WAY too pretty to go to prison
Now accepting friends that live on a lake and have a boat and/or jet skis
It`s a bird.. it`s a plane..no wait..it`s a blade of grass....
I`m not saying I`m out of shape but I just stretched, got winded, and need to lie down
Whoever said “There is nothing as precious as a child’s laughter” obviously never fell down a flight of stairs in front of his kids.