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Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!

I hate when beggars rattle their cup full of coins at me. Yes i know! You have more money than me, you don`t have to rub it in..
Please drink responsibly this weekend and don`t drink and dri......Wait this is Facebook, most of you probably won`t leave the house! ... Good talk!
I just found out the neighborhood is having a meeting about the creepy guy. ..Its weird that they forgot to invite me ..
I think it`s safe to take the fax numbers off our business cards, now, everybody.
As if " cray cray" wasn`t irritating enough, people have started shortening it to " cray"....that`s just stu stu
To whoever has my voodoo doll, scratch between my butt cheeks....I`m in public.
The key to eating healthy is to avoid any food that has a TV commercial.
I`m not sure who`s more drunk, me or the guy wrapped in Christmas lights standing in the mirror.
In my experience, temporary insanity can last a long time.
Apparently 50% of people prefer pizza to sex. What is wrong with people? Have they never had pizza?
Walmart needs observation decks.
I`ll never understand women. They hate when you ask their age, but get mad if you forget their birthday.
See, I would run, but it`s usually bodies of joggers that are found dead in the woods.
Apparently, the average person looks at their phone 150 times a day. Not me. I look at it just once. For about 12 hours.
Stop undressing me with your eyes!...Use your teeth!