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Just saw someone holding a sign that said "Honk 2 impeach Obama" You`d think the process to impeach a president would be more complicated
The guy that discovered milk...What was he doing to that cow?
It takes a smoke detector 4 months to stop beeping if you were wondering how lazy I am.
I had four E`s and LSD last night. Such an awful start to a game of scrabble!!
What if animals all speak a universal language, and we’re the odd ones out???
I wish we could donate body fat to those in need.
If a bag is not resealable then it contains one serving. I don`t make the rules.
How do people dumb enough to buy $500 sunglasses make enough money to buy $500 sunglasses?
The only thing I`ve learned from scary movies is to avoid pale children
I need to adjust the brightness settings for my future.
It`s always darkest before the dawn. So if you`re going steal your neighbor`s newspaper that`s be the time to do it.
The human body is amazing... You breathe in oxygen and it converts it into sarcasm.
Internet Dating......The Odds are good but the Goods are odd
If you’ve been naughty… go to your room. If you want to be naughty… go to mine.
Sometimes my mind wanders, other times it leaves completly. ;)