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I don’t think it’s a coincidence that morning and mourning sound the same.
I keep myself in just good enough shape to outrun most women and small children during emergencies.. :|
Your boyfriend has long hair too. I sometimes have trouble figuring out who the girl is in the relationship.
Say what you will about women but I think being able to turn one sentence into a six hour argument takes talent.
Facebook prank #23 Go in everynight and change your birthday to the next day...then see how long it takes for people to catch on....
Sometimes I spend whole meetings wondering how they got the big meeting table through the door.
I`ve never said "in all seriousness" and actually meant it.
Guys you should never overreact when you hear the words, " The babysitter is late."
Wow, I just melted a piece of ice by staring at it. Took a little longer than I thought it would.
My goal is to move just enough each day that no one pokes me to see if I`m dead.
Live For Today… Plan For Tomorrow… Party Tonight!
I wonder if tap dancers walk into a room, look at a floor and think, "I`d so tap that."
Give a man a beer and he wastes an hour, teach him how to brew, and he wastes a lifetime.
Me in a shopping mall: "I like that stuff" *looks at pricetag* "i don`t like it anymore"
funny status idea: a funny and popular one