Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
The amount of times I`ve had to say no to the Adobe Updater has totally prepared me to be a parent.
Stop dwelling on the past and start f*cking up the future.
I’m giving co-workers the silent treatment by sending them blank emails.
One does not simply log out of their friend`s facebook account without making them gay.
Women are angels, and when someone breaks our wings, we continue to fly…on a broomstick. We’re flexible that way.
Apparently my socks never remember “The Buddy System” whenever I wash them.
According to Debrah in HR, "Back up off my balls" is not the proper way to tell someone to wait for assistance.
Story of my life : 1. i wake up .... 2. i go to school.... 3. i see a girl .... 4. i run to her and kiss her.... Actually, the right order is 2,3,4,1 ..
yes I have a dirty mind, and yes you are in it...
Legalizing same sex marriage. I thought all sex was the same after marriage.
Why is it never opportunity that`s knocking? Instead, it`s usually cops with a warrant...
Why do people say "Tuna Fish sandwich?" That`s like saying "Chicken Bird sandwich."
I hate to be one of those who post cliffhangers but...
To the guy who invented Zero: Thanks for nothing!
If anxiety was good for weight loss, I`d be back to my birth weight.