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Long story short, I love summaries.
Do bees even have knees?
It doesn`t matter how old you are, If you hear the ice cream truck jingle you jump out the window for that sh!t.
Do you guys ever get a shooting pain across your body like someone has a voodoo doll of you & they`re stabbing it? No? How about now?
What do they give the person that has everything? antibiotics
It`s amazing how important someone can make you feel with a smile, a kind word or the occasional stalking.
Marriage: an expensive way to get your laundry done for free..
I gotta go guys. I just found out my lunch break isn`t 3 hours long.
I tried jogging this morning, but the alcohol kept spilling out of my glass, f&ck that.
just watched my first full episode of jersey shore... #ashamed of new entertainment
I swallowed an ice cube yesterday and I haven`t pooped it out yet ... Really scared now!
Dear Life, Please, use a Lubricant.
I`m like the toughest guy in this comic book store.
I`m surprised people still ask me if I want to hold their baby given the number of times I`ve dropped and shattered my phone
Kids today will never know the frustration of having to rewind their dads porn tapes to the exact same spot...