Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Sorry I got drunk and said and did everything I wanted to say and do.
When my husband gives me shit for taking too long to get ready, I remind him that you never know when you`ll meet the man of your dreams.
Get at least eight hours of beauty sleep, 9 if you`re ugly.
As long as everything is exactly the way I want it. I`m totally flexible.
I`m just saying a sarcasm font could go a loooong way!
Some guy waved to me and then walked up and said, “Sorry, I thought you were someone else.” .... I said, “I am.”
You know you drank too much if you have to wait until your court appearance to find out what the hell happened that night
My date is in 2 hours, which means I have very little time to fix my glasses and fix my bangs and get a career and lose 50 pounds
I´m not insensitive, I just don´t care.
Jail is just the government`s way of sending you to your room.
Give a man a beer and he wastes an hour, teach him how to brew, and he wastes a lifetime.
If Reincarnation ends up being real... Those People who got "YOLO" tattoos are going to look... Pretty Silly
In honor of this years` Super Bowl participants respective States of residence, they`ve changed kickoff to 4:20 Eastern Standard time.
Hi I’m an evil ghost with the ability to defy time & space, but I think the best example of my powers will be to slightly close this door.
If I was just learning English and you told me a sport called BOXING takes place in a SQUARE area called a RING, I`d probably give up.