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Apparently nothing offends a toddler more than suggesting they might be due for a nap.
There should be a day in between Saturday and Sunday.
Just googled "who gives a sh!t?" My name wasn`t in the search results.
FYI: Push-up bras don`t actually help you do more push-ups :(
"Nineteen letters long" is 19 letters long.
Just bought a Ken doll. I don`t know what everyone`s talking about, you can`t read books on this thing.
if you wake up at 3am and scream bloody mary three times in the mirror, your mom will tell you to shut up and go to bed
Just give me coffee and no one gets hurt.
I would be so pissed if someone shook me all night long.
I don’t need a reason to do stupid things, just a venue.
We’ll be best friends forever because you already know too much.
Like a good neighbor, strip clubs are there
If I have nosy neighbors, I always like to dig five 7 ft. x 3 ft. x 6 ft. holes in the back yard and every couple of days, Fill one in.
Someone asked me if I`m ever scared that I`ll be alone forever, which I thought was so rude because my cat was right there.
They say you can tell how someone has sex by how they dance…. So ladies be prepared for a lot of counting and clapping.