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Ya Know?!?......The number of ways I could care less...... is astounding!
I told my psychiatrist that I`ve been hearing voices. He told me that I don`t have a psychiatrist.
I`m not shy. I`m just being quiet because I know that if I open my mouth to speak, a flow of never- ceasing, insulting comment directed at you will immediately spew from within me.
I wonder how many strangers have stories about me.
Don`t get me started Bitches, I don`t come with brakes.
Soul mates are people with the mutual understanding that no one else will put up with their sh!t.
You know what bothers me? When people assume you`re homeless cause you`re asleep on the street and your pants are gone..
"Of course you`re the prettiest girl here, you just need to talk louder" - alcohol
One of the things I like to say to a girl after we have sex for the first time is "Hmm, damn weird... I heard you were better."
I’d drink a lot less alcohol if a lot less alcohol got me drunk.
How many Snickers are an acceptable meal replacement?
Exercise by running up the street knocking on all the doors. - Jehovah`s Fitness.
In case I drink too much and pass out for a while, Merry Christmas you guys.
They say that absence makes the heart grow fonder. It`s true... The less I see of someone, the more I like them!
If people who shop at Walmart, “Save Money. Live Better.” Exactly how bad were these people living BEFORE Walmart?