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Wish my girlfriend was awake, could really do with a sandwich right now.
Technology is outpacing my ability to come up with convincing lies that I didn`t get your message.
Per Wikipedia, there are two kinds of scorpions. One can sting and kill you like a spider, the other can sing and rock you like a hurricane
Next time one of your friends leave their Facebook open, randomly pick one of their friends and like all 973 of their photos.
i just caught a disease so rare that even i dont have it .
Life is short, break the rules, forgive quickly, kiss slowly, love truly, laugh uncontrollably and never regret anything that made you smile ?
Let`s be honest, Dos Equis. After a bunch of ANY beer, what guy DOESN`T think he`s the most interesting man in the world?
When I woke up this morning everything in my house had been stolen and replaced with exact replicas... WEIRD..
Scratch and Sniff Here [____] …Smells like glass, doesn’t it
Libraries were a good start, but we really need to keep working on the number of places where people shouldn`t be allowed to talk
The only trouble with resisting temptation is that you may not get another chance...
I always try to learn from the mistakes of other people..... who have taken my advice
Is it bad when I´m talking to myself and I´m not even listening?
Thank god that racist basketball guy showed up or we`d still be talking about how we`re not finding that airplane.
Ever wish the choice you made and the “right thing to do” were the same thing?