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Saw my Ex with some guy at a bar last night... so I ordered a beer, took a few sips then gave her date the rest of my drink... Walked away.
My cat probably thinks I`m cleaning my ice cream...
My door is always open. So please feel free to leave.
I didn`t want to grow up; I just wanted to be able to reach the cookies.
If I could just make one thing very clear at this point ... I would.
Internet dating: the odds are good but the goods are odd.
The best part about a vacation to England is that my wife won`t need to adjust her driving.
Running is the best way to remind yourself how much you love sitting.
My favorite Yoga Pose is the Upward Facing Couch Potato.
It`s so frustrating when your hitman doesn`t answer the phone after you`ve made amends with someone
Note: the 5 second rule does not apply to soup.
If we`re all expected to have sex with our Valentine on Valentine`s Day, I`m truly dreading Presidents` Day.
The secret of enjoying a good wine: 1) Open the bottle to allow it to breathe. 2) if it does not look like it`s breathing give it mouth-to_mouth
status uploading
is sick and tired and tired of being sick and sick of being tired!