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How do they put the "do not walk on the grass" signs up?
So, I guess we’re just supposed to assume the number is 1-800-Ghostbusters?
They say the camera adds 10lbs. Stop eating cameras!
If it hurts when you pee, urine trouble.
My new plan is to ignore my problems until they become hilarious stories.
There may be no excuse for laziness, but I’m still looking.
I put a pair of boots in the bathroom stall at work so nobody else will use the stall that I like to use.
Remember, no matter how bad a day you may be having, no matter how sh!tty a situation you may be in... I`m feeling great. So it`s all good!
Facebook is cheaper than therapy, twice as effective & you can do it naked.
Learned today that it`s about 12 min after realizing there`s no TP in the stall that you ask yourself how important your socks really are.
How big does a cupcake have to be before it`s just a cake?
You know you`re married when you find her sexier with clothes on.
Nice try, St. Patrick`s Day, but I don`t need a reason to drink.
If I say "I don`t know, let me look", I`m really just spinning around in my chair a few times while you`re on hold.
hell yeah !!!! i was the lucky sperm !!!!!